The Wiener Weekly News With Dan Sullivan (latest w/ story posts below) Released 7/31/17
Next Episode Listen to Episode One
THE NEWS BEHIND THE NEWS
We're back with some Wiener News (quite literally, in fact) and Paul Mackie's Pop Culture Minute. Some shocking stuff this week! We learn more by the minute, as each story unfolds.
A man in Chicago did indeed rampage about with a severed you-know-what; however, the near certainty of bath salt intoxication alleged Monday is now being described as the derangement of "synthetic drugs" (same difference?). Read the story and watch gruesome videos at The Daily Mail.
Poor Steve Bannon, accused now of an effort in oral self-gratification by our short-lived White House communications director, the great and powerful Scaramucci, was among those the tycoon blasted during an on-the-record interview, displaying a mouth quite vigorous in its vulgarity and irreverence, a mouth, in fact, trumping Trump's in that department, and one which is well-captured, in each facet of depravity, by Slate.com.
Want to read hundreds of Trump's own antagonistic oral ejaculations? Who wouldn't? Go to Politico for the full report and compare notes with Scaramucci's scathingly grotesque remarks. Whose do you think are the zaniest of them all?
Speaking of zany, North Korea now claims its ICBMs can strike every city in the mainland United States, according to CNN. But CNN has been known to exaggerate. Remember ebola? Weren't we all supposed to die from ebola? Whatever happened to that? Don't worry. As we said in our newsletter: it's ok to put your head under the covers.
Death comes unexpectedly. It does. Though we at Wiener Sausage do not like the notion of being nuked. Still, death came unexpectedly to June Foray, once Rocky the Flying Squirrel, at age 99, according to The New York Times. Read about it. We understand she planned to live until she was 100.
Last, The Plaid Zebra did indeed insinuate that our fearless leader, The Real Donald Trump, is addicted to bath salts. The story is here. Let's hope it's a joke! We aren't sure what bath salts are, only that they are very different from Epsom and far more potent than the chocolate snuff, Coco Loko.
Still, given the foul words that flow trippingly from the tongues of our nation's officials, one must occasionally ask: are they all on something? Perhaps a new synthetic drug that peps you up a bit, like a mixture of crystal meth, Adderall, and bath salts?
We will explore world leaders and drug addiction NEXT WEEK on the Wiener Weekly News!
In the meantime, we remain but minutes from midnight on the Doomsday clock, as it ticks its relentless tick tock-ing, leading to that dark inevitability which shall one day come for each of us, when the bell tolls, as it tolled just last week for poor Rocky the Squirrel. Until then, we must keep the Wiener faith and move ever forward into uncharted waters of our uncertain future!
That's it for this week, Wiener News Fans! Happy reading and enjoy the ride until we catch up again on he other side of the weekend.
We're back with some Wiener News (quite literally, in fact) and Paul Mackie's Pop Culture Minute. Some shocking stuff this week! We learn more by the minute, as each story unfolds.
A man in Chicago did indeed rampage about with a severed you-know-what; however, the near certainty of bath salt intoxication alleged Monday is now being described as the derangement of "synthetic drugs" (same difference?). Read the story and watch gruesome videos at The Daily Mail.
Poor Steve Bannon, accused now of an effort in oral self-gratification by our short-lived White House communications director, the great and powerful Scaramucci, was among those the tycoon blasted during an on-the-record interview, displaying a mouth quite vigorous in its vulgarity and irreverence, a mouth, in fact, trumping Trump's in that department, and one which is well-captured, in each facet of depravity, by Slate.com.
Want to read hundreds of Trump's own antagonistic oral ejaculations? Who wouldn't? Go to Politico for the full report and compare notes with Scaramucci's scathingly grotesque remarks. Whose do you think are the zaniest of them all?
Speaking of zany, North Korea now claims its ICBMs can strike every city in the mainland United States, according to CNN. But CNN has been known to exaggerate. Remember ebola? Weren't we all supposed to die from ebola? Whatever happened to that? Don't worry. As we said in our newsletter: it's ok to put your head under the covers.
Death comes unexpectedly. It does. Though we at Wiener Sausage do not like the notion of being nuked. Still, death came unexpectedly to June Foray, once Rocky the Flying Squirrel, at age 99, according to The New York Times. Read about it. We understand she planned to live until she was 100.
Last, The Plaid Zebra did indeed insinuate that our fearless leader, The Real Donald Trump, is addicted to bath salts. The story is here. Let's hope it's a joke! We aren't sure what bath salts are, only that they are very different from Epsom and far more potent than the chocolate snuff, Coco Loko.
Still, given the foul words that flow trippingly from the tongues of our nation's officials, one must occasionally ask: are they all on something? Perhaps a new synthetic drug that peps you up a bit, like a mixture of crystal meth, Adderall, and bath salts?
We will explore world leaders and drug addiction NEXT WEEK on the Wiener Weekly News!
In the meantime, we remain but minutes from midnight on the Doomsday clock, as it ticks its relentless tick tock-ing, leading to that dark inevitability which shall one day come for each of us, when the bell tolls, as it tolled just last week for poor Rocky the Squirrel. Until then, we must keep the Wiener faith and move ever forward into uncharted waters of our uncertain future!
That's it for this week, Wiener News Fans! Happy reading and enjoy the ride until we catch up again on he other side of the weekend.
Special thanks to www.bensound.com (musical credits).
